and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
