I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
