"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
