absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
