My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
