The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
