It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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