the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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