Sry I called you an 8
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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