NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
