Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
