It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
