Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
