Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
