oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
