You're completely useless in the revolution.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
