At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
