remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
