It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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