Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
