I just saw a hot homeless man
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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