I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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