ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
