I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
