3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
