Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
