she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
