absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
