i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they're like a gay fantastic four
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
