I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
