Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
