it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
