This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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