is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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