i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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