im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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