In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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