when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
