Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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