he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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