About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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