Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
