I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
