She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
