now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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