Will you blow on my dice?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
