East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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