Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the day after is always just damage control
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
