You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
