Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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