How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
